Desperately Seeking Cixous
I am not a prude, but some of Cixous’ rhetoric in “The Laugh of the Medusa” made me squirm. Not because the vocabulary or the subject was shocking (neither is), but mostly because I was going to be the one leading the classroom discussion. I wondered just how graphic the conversation would need to be to successfully cover the essay.
Fortunately, we have a stellar class, and everyone treated the material honestly and respectfully. No problem. Landis didn’t rattle me when he asked if I knew the real meaning (wink, wink) of Cixous’ coined word joissance (possibly joiessance) or the legit French word jouissance – all indicating pleasure (and beyond). Take your pick, I guess. Anyway, I enjoyed hearing various interpretations of Cixous’ writing and wish we had had time to delve into more of the text.
One passage that caused me to nod in agreement can be found on Page 1527 of Bizzell/Herzberg, where Cixous writes of what one might call women’s signature guilt:
. . . (writing) will tear her away from the superegoized structure in which she has always occupied the place reserved for the guilty (guilty of everything, guilty at every turn: for having desires, for not having any; for being frigid, for being “too hot”; for not being both at once; for being too motherly and not enough; for having children and for not having any; for nursing and for not nursing. . .)
Ouch. I hope the young women in our classroom don’t have to contend with the guilt trips that plagued my generation – and even more so my mother’s. When you’re at work, you feel guilty for not being at home with the kids. When you’re home with the kids, you feel guilty because you’re not out making money for the household. You do both and feel guilty because you don’t feel you’re giving both home and career adequate attention. You feel guilty about feeling bitter when you’re overextended, and you feel guilty when you ask for relief. You even feel guilty about a glass of champagne you drank on your anniversary when you were eight months pregnant, because now you know "the facts"; and now you just know that one drink lowered your child’s I.Q. by at least ten points. You know you shouldn't feel guilty, so you feel guilty about feeling guilty.
Damned if you do and damned if you don’t, as “they” say. Moms are always yearning for do-overs. I don’t know any men who have battled this kind of guilt or suffered from what appears to be a female-oriented “if-only” syndrome. In fact, to illustrate: My son and daughter-in-law are not planning to have children, and yet she is the one who catches most of the flak about their decision. Is that fair?
Cixous insists that WRITING will release women from the guilt that has been imposed on them in a phallogocentric culture. If that's all it takes, then come on, girls; let’s write, write, write!
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3 comments:
I think that the guilt issue is very troubling. Being a man, I completely understand the roles expected of each gender; even in my young age, these same expectations have been perpetuated in my generation. I think we are slowly moving away from it, and that's great. I wish that it would speed up a bit so that we can have true equality. Having said that, I would like to throw my hat in the ring and say this: I would stay home with the kids. I would let my wife go into the workforce and bring home the bacon, while I stay home and take care of the house and the kids. Hell, it would make perfect sense for me, being a writer, that I work from home. I've had this discussion with other male TAs in the office, and we agree that there is no ego involved in being the stay-at-home dad. Let's all move beyond these gender-limited views and do what's good for the family unit. Let's turn these gender stereotypes upside down and teach our kids that it doesn't matter how the family makes the money but that there is someone to do it as both parents work to build a good life together.
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